I should be sponsored by Trojan
operation have a gay friend backfired
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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