you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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