just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
