I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
