we're chasing vodka with high fives
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
