You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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