You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
