you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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