The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
