Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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