There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
