My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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