The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
