Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
