why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
