Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
