Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
