What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
