Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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