I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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