I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
