I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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