Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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