Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
