yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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