Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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