I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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