I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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