So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
