he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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