i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
