You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
