He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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