He is an equal opportunity slut.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
