Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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