i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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