youre lurking in front of me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The Olympian is in my bed
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