wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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