There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
