my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize