my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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