hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
