If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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