I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Say something about gay babies.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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