I showed him my bush... on skype.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
