So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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