ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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