that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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