Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why do cheetos always look like penises
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
