yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
