discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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