Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
