You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
