I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
