Porn is love you can see.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
