I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
