i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
