Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
