I hate your face
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
