Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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