So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize