I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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