Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
